Today I've felt full of nervous energy but with no idea how to put that energy to good use. I made a list of activities I could tackle, like perhaps taking a trip to the library and checking out a book, or writing in my journal, but I am not motivated.
Last week I picked up a couple of Melvins albums that were on sale at our local record shop. Today I got around to plugging our turntable into our Sony soundbar (which we got a few months ago and shows how long I put off getting the right cord to connect the thing) and finally got to listen to the records. I put "Metropolis" on mute while listening, then followed up the Melvins with "Adore" by Smashing Pumpkins. Surprisingly, the albums synced up quite nicely with the film, and even ended at the same time the credits started to roll.
I've felt stressed with work and daily life outside the home. Even something as easy as getting groceries becomes challenging. I guess it's okay to take some down time and chill out, but I feel like I don't know what to do with myself during quiet, still moments. Maybe it would be a good idea to look into meditating, or something equally calming.
There were a few years in my past where I didn't do much of anything and I wasted a lot of time. I suppose I'm trying to make up for the time I feel I lost, trying to make the most of my abilities in this world, seizing the day and all that jazz.
But maybe it's also okay to relax once in a while.